INSTALLING A HUSBAND

This has been sent to me by one of your classmates. Thx, José Domingo!
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Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.

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DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3..0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

Tech Support

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Here's a link to the first episode of a British comedy series called IT Crowd. You'll probably get addicted to it ;-)

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Here's a recommendation from Dani (NA1) for you all. It's a TV series starring Lisa Kudrow (the one who played Phoebe in Friends) that is called Web Therapy. Thx Dan!

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My colleague Mª José Bermejo passed me an interesting link. It's a video that tells you about the word "fuck."
Beware! There are some spelling mistakes:
centense > sentence
incompitance > incompetence
disatisfaction > dissatisfaction

I once heard something about the origin of the word but don't know for sure if it's true. Apparently the word derives from old times when it was posted on brothel doors as an acronym of "Fornication under the consent of the King"

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Here's a video for you to learn about Thanksgiving Day, which is celebrated today in the US.

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- Browse a newspaper in English (you have links on the right column) and choose a headline you would not have understood before studying the vocabulary we're learning in class.
- Now that you know the vocabulary, explain the headline in your own words, with an appropriate complete sentence.
- You may also want to do a bit of research on the political leanings or ideology of the newspaper you chose. That's a type of cultural content worth learning about.

An example has been given in the comment section below.